Saturday, May 19, 2007

Wife 1.0 Tech Support

Some funny stuff i got thru mail :)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected processing that took up a lot of space and
valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,
Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golfing 3.6 no longer run,
crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't
work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User

REPLY: Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
designed to not allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support.

I reccommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate
software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife
1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these
programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag
9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0
is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

2 comments:

Expert said...

Maybe one should try duel boot with Wife 1.0 and Girlfriend 6.0 or Girlfriend 8.0
That will solve most issues.

Genesis said...

LOL