Nine Women Every Guy Should Hey-Diddle-Diddle

1. A flight attendant
The theory: A cute stewardess under 200 pounds is as rare as a fiery plummet to earth.

2. A farmer’s daughter
The theory: Outfoxing a shotgun-toting father is the original extreme sport.

3. A nurse
The theory: She knows where it hurts and how to make it feel all better.

4. A broken wing
The theory: While she may have problems, screwing your brains out isn’t one of them.

5. A friend’s sister
The theory: It’ll kill your friend, and you and your other friends can high-five.

6. A teacher
The theory: She likes baby talk and naughty boys, and knows how to use a ruler.

7. A Foreigner
The theory: Remember—you’re in a band, and your phone number is 555-1212.

8. A cheerleader
The theory: Pompoms, short skirts, and white panties can bend time and space.

9. A work superior
The theory: She seduces you and then tosses you aside like garbage. Yes!